Monday, September 29, 2008

Good Day / Bad Day Pt. 2

Well, even though I'm exhausted right now, I'm feeling pretty good. The single-most important feature I had to implement is now FINISHED! When I started a week ago, it was like looking down the barrel of a loaded gun. I was scared shitless, but it seems like taking baby steps, and keeping your nose to the grindstone really does pay off. It turns out that it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. My work is far from done, but one major milestone is under my belt, and I feel great! All I have to do is keep up this pace, and I think I'll actually make the October 15th deadline. Woohooo!! Graduation here I come!

P.S. I fucking hate it when people are disrespectful of people in the library. Fuck them all.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Good Day / Bad Day

Today is one of the bad ones. I'm frustrated with my work (school-work... my actual job is dandy). Normally I'm all for learning something new, but I'm in one hell of a pissfire today. I suppose it's just a combination of exhaustion, stubbornness, and frustration. I feel like I'm in a bubble that I want out of, and the only way to do it, is to do the work that I'm frustrated with and not passionate about anymore. I feel lost - there are so many things to know, that I know halfway or don't know at all, and I have to figure them out on my own. I'm not the brightest math person, or even programmer for that matter, but I DO like a challenge. I'm just sick of the challenges right now and there's one around every corner. I'm dreaming about ordinary differential equation solvers and different software architectural patterns right now, and I don't like it!!!!

I just want to be a crazy heavy metal chick who can actually hang out when invited, and bake lovely little pastries for people. That's it. Hopefully in a few short months I'll be able to do just that. I can't wait to just have a full-time job.