Sunday, August 24, 2008

Babies, Drugs, and Rock -n- Roll

Contrary to popular belief, I do not hate children. Just because I have not yet chosen to bring a life into this world myself, does not mean that I hate children, or do not ever want to have children. I do, however, have some strong views on this subject (keep in mind that these are my opinions):

I believe that if you bring a life into this world that you ought to have a damn good reason to. Having children to bring attention to yourself, keep a marriage together, or because your biological clock is ticking are not good reasons. Not good enough for me anyway. If you bring a life into this world for those reasons, then you're short-changing that life.

Population growth is exponential, and being the consumer world we are now, our resources will therefore decline exponentially. Yes, the Earth will most likely survive this, but we as the current life forms on this planet may not. I lived next to a family of four, and I could not believe how much garbage they produced. Quite sickening. We need to take care of our Earth, and bringing more consumers into it makes matters worse - especially when there is no regard for it in the first place.

If you ask me, however, what would justify bringing a life into this world, I could not answer it. This is precisely why I have not yet done so. I have not found my reason yet, and I'm not sure I ever will. Some people have called me selfish, but my logical mind cannot comprehend how it could be considered so. I think it's quite the opposite actually. I feel like that for now, one reason is that this decision I've made is helping further our life on this earth by reducing carbon emissions. I'm taking my time to prepare myself if I ever do decide to have children. If I do ever have one, I'd like to have a game plan. Taking the time to be well prepared is not selfish!

Lets not forget that I have my own proverbial baby right now - my thesis. For the past 4 years, I've been working on my masters degree and working full time. If I were to have a "miracle" during all of this, would I be able to carry on? Most likely the answer is "no". Right now I barely have enough time as it is to accomplish the things that I've previously committed to. Is it ok with everybody that I finish one feat before I start another? /endSarcasm

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know what parenting a human is like. From what I've heard from real parents though, is that it is hard, and you don't get much sleep. I've also heard that it's the most beautiful thing in the world. This is a bit naive, but it sounds like my friggin thesis! (only a bit less rewarding) It's been very hard, and I don't get much sleep. I don't get to go out much because of it. (I don't have to find a babysitter though, so you got me there) I know all those mothers out there are probably rolling their eyes, but just let me just say this - You probably haven't gone through a computer science masters program and chosen the thesis option either. I'm only saying this because this has been a very hard 4 years - and you don't know it unless you've been through it. I saw some pretty dark times. After I have a real baby, if I ever do, I'll let you know which one was harder, and it'll probably be the MS.

I think it's obvious that I've worked hard. If it isn't, then I'm telling you right now. With that said, I also like to play hard, and I'm absolutely sick of being judged for it. Yes, I like to drink. Alot. I also love going to heavy metal shows alot. This doesn't mean that I like to drink all of the time or go to concerts all of the time, and that I'm some sort of degenerate. If I was, I wouldn't get the things accomplished that I set out to do, and certainly wouldn't be just about done with my MS.

So, before you go judging one part of my lifestyle, make sure you look at all the other facets of my life. If I haven't seen you in a long time, it's not because I don't like you, or your babies, or your pets, or your house. It's because I'm busy as well, and it's going to stay that way until my Thesis is finished.

I love you all. Please accept me for who I am, and what I have chosen as of right now to do with my life, and I will accept you. I think having children is great - for the right reasons, it's just not for me yet. If you know me, then you should know this. With that said, I am going to be MIA for the next few months so I can finish having my own "baby". Don't take it personal, and don't worry - I won't bore you with the details.